


Sea of Lies

by TheShadowsInMySoul



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Future, Moving On, Reflect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-09 13:25:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3251357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShadowsInMySoul/pseuds/TheShadowsInMySoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You called me yours, and I called you mine, but in this river of words, we created a sea of lies."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sea of Lies

**Author's Note:**

> This is in my AU universe. I think I may do a more in depth one shot of Bellamy's time in Mount Weather, because I think because I totally called it in this fic and it's important to stay with the plot of the show a little bit. What do you think?

**"You called me yours, and I called you mine, but in this river of words, we created a sea of lies." Clarke reflects on her relationship with Finn, and how she moved on with Bellamy *Future Fic* Note: some things will be different in my time line versus the real one (it's AU)**

The first time Clarke saw Finn Collins, he was floating around in space. The drop ship was plummeting to earth, and he had decided to unbuckle his safety belt and use the zero gravity to his temporary advantage. Two other boys followed his idiotic lead, and when the parachutes deployed, they broke their necks. Finn got lucky and only had a few bruises.

***

Finn was a flirt. He first seemed very into Octavia, but as soon as Jasper showed interest and Bellamy strung up the first guy she kissed in a tree, he backed off. Finn then had started to pay more attention to Clarke.

Finn made her feel special, like she mattered in the camp of people who hated her. He came with her to confront Murphy, stuck beside her when the accusation went sideways and comforted her after Charlotte.

And, when Finn kissed her in the bunker, it reminded her that even though she kept telling Finn that he wasn't alone, that she felt very much so. When his lips were against hers, she actually felt happy. When he was with Clarke, there was a fuzzy feeling that spread through her, making her feel light and airy, maybe even carefree.

"It's almost dawn," Clarke said as they lazed around in bed. "We should probably get going. We can't just lay around in bed all day."

"Or we could just lay around in bed all day." Clarke smiled slightly, but looked down at him with a serious expression a moment later.

"Finn, I want you to know that last night wasn't just about needing someone, it was about needing you. I wanted it to be you." Finn just nodded his head, and his face gave nothing away.

"I should probably tell you that last night wasn't really about you. I just wanted to have my first earth sex, and you were around and passably cute." A grin spread across Clarke's face, and she murmured a quiet 'jackass' before kissing him once more.

***

They had been sitting, curled up in a blanket on a rock, watching the night sky and all the movement around them. Being alone, just the two of them, it had been nice after the hustle and bustle and catastrophe of being on earth.

Finn was curled around Clarke, and she was leaning into his chest. There was a slight nip in the air, but sitting in silence, sitting on earth, made the cold worth it. Finn shifted behind Clarke, putting his face to her neck.

"I wanted it to be you too," he whispered in her ear, and kissed her neck.

"Finn look!" Clarke nudged him with her shoulder, and gestured up to a flaming light running across the dark sky. It reminded her of a spark exploding from a fire.

"It's a shooting star. You should make a wish," Finn told her, and Clarke giggled, looking at him in disbelief. "It's something they used to do. I read about it."

"But it's just a rock burning up in the atmosphere," Clarke stated logically, and it was Finn's turn to laugh.

"Romance killer."

But that hadn't really been what killed the moment. It was the realization that the rock wasn't actually a rock. It was a drop pod, and it was coming towards them. Clarke, though reluctant to move from her position, stood up and offered a hand to Finn. They then went back to camp, prepared to play hero.

By the time they made it back to camp, the sun had started to come up over the horizon. Everyone milled around out of their tents, gossiping about what they thought it could be. Clarke scoured the camp, looking for the oldest of the group, but couldn't find him. She had yet to check his tent, though.

"Bellamy told us that we would head to the pod at dawn," someone told Clarke. When she went to his tent and found him gone, Roma having said that he had been gone for a while, she knew exactly what he'd done.

"What ever is in that drop ship, he wants it," Clarke said hotly. How could she have been so stupid. She grabbed a pack immediately, and Finn and her took off for the pod. "I should have known that he would go for the radio. He has spent the entire time we've been on the ground making sure the Ark doesn't know we're alive."

"It's not your fault." Finn tried to reason with Clarke. But it was. She should have predicted it, and done something to stop it, but she hadn't.

***

When Clarke found the pod, after splitting up from Finn to cover more ground, she was thrilled to see a girl with long black hair, in a large white space suit sitting in the seat. After helping the girl, who was Raven, out of huge cockpit, Clarke let her get aquatinted with earth.

"I dreamed it would smell like this." The girl obviously loved the real air, because she was taking large breaths and laughed a little each time. Before Clarke could ask the girl any real questions, she started to shout.

"Finn!" Raven exclaimed, seeing the boy and ran towards him. When she kissed him passionately, Raven looked like she was in heaven.

Clarke felt like she had been punched in the throat, and then felt like an idiot. Of course he had a girlfriend, no one that nice wouldn't. Why hadn't she thought of that? Clarke lectures herself mentally while the two lovers reunited. Clarke shook herself. Focus, she told herself, just make sure that you can get the information or supplies that you came for.

"Is there any news from the Ark? Are they sending help for us aside from your pod?" Clarke asked Raven, who was now sitting on a fallen tree with Finn.

"They are going to kill 320 people if I don't radio back."

Clarke's day couldn't have gotten any worse. Bellamy must have made it there first and destroyed the radio so his happy little band of misfits could go on under his rule.

The group of three headed back to camp to regroup, only to find out that Bellamy really had stolen the radio. Clarke organized a search party to go to the river Bellamy claimed to have dumped the radio. She was grateful, for once, for the chaos so that she had something to focus on aside from her own problems. Clarke had had enough of thinking about her own problems in lock ups. The search was successful but it took them a long while to find it. At least it felt long with Finn constantly trying to explain the obvious situation to her.

Even though they found the radio, it was broken, so they needed a plan B. After some deliberation, Raven had come up with a risky plan. Flares that would be fired up into the atmosphere to let the Ark know that they were alive. Everyone thought they had succeeded, until some bright lights streaming across the sky told Clarke otherwise. It reminded her of a spark coming from a fire, the drop pod.

"It's a burial. This is what sending the bodies back to earth looks like from the other side."

***

A few days later, everything else went to shit. The fucking icing on the shit cake that was her life. Raven found out about the one time thing that happened between her boyfriend and Clarke, and was not happy. Raven had confronted her, and she had seemed like it was Clarke's fault. How was it her fault that Clarke didn't know the other girl existed?

There were obvious signs of Finn's interest in Clarke, though. Finn hung around her, had made up excuses to see her, and rarely had he let Raven and Clarke go anywhere without him. The bunker, the place where Raven started to make the connection, was the only place that he couldn't have gone with them. He was a tracker, and Octavia was missing at the time so there was not a moment to spare.

***

Clarke was cleaning up her make-shift med bay from helping a girl who tried to lift a log on her own when she heard the yells. "Clarke! We need Clarke!" She tore through the camp towards the gate the noise was coming from just in time to see Bellamy, who had just entered camp holding up a skewered Finn.

There was a knife suck in his side, and Finn's shirt was soaked with blood. Clarke rushed up to do an initial check. His skin was warm, warmer then expected, and his skin was dry. At least he wasn't going into shock.

"Get him to the drop ship," Clarke ordered, and told a few people to grab some supplies on the way back to the med bay. Looking at the wound almost made her queasy, almost. Clarke had to stay focused on trying to help Finn, to make him survive no matter how much he had hurt her. She was so caught up in trying to stabilize him that she hadn't even notice the start of the storm.

What she had noticed though, was Bellamy dragging a half conscious grounder through the drop ship. He looked beaten and bloody, but after what he had done to Finn, Clarke hadn't put too much of a fight against his capture. Static filed the first floor of the drop ship, and then a voice came through. Raven had gotten the radio up.

"We need Dr. Abby Griffin on the radio. I repeat, Dr. Abby Griffin," Raven spoke into the radio. There was some static before her mothers voice was there.

"Mom? Mom we need your help. One of the 100 was stabbed and the knife is still in between the 6th and 7th rib." After rinsing anything and everything in the moonshine Octavia had brought moments ago, Clarke began to check the wound under the instruction of her mother.

***

It had been a long night, but Finn pulled through after Octavia had gotten the cure to the poison. After the streets of everything, Clarke decided to leave Finn in Ravens care to go sleep for a while.

Raven was stuck to Finn like glue. Even though she was taking care of her injured boyfriend, Raven was being overly touchy and affectionate and Clarke believed it was to stake a claim. They hadn't had a lot of time to fight over it, and Clarke had assumed since the other girl didn't mention it, Raven assumed that Finn was hers. Which he was.

After what seemed like five minutes, Clarke was woken up by Octavia, who said that the council wanted to speak with her. And of course, it was about a supply depo. Since the last 'safe haven' the ark told them about had almost gotten one of them killed, Clarke decided to have a small group instead of a large one.

Clarke had decided to go grab the most annoying, arrogant person on earth at the moment, and it also happened to be the only person she could stand to be around right now. Bellamy, who was still getting everything back in order after the storm dropped everything and was ready to go in five minutes. Clarke was happy that Bellamy came with her, because if he hadn't she would have had to find someone else. That someone else probably would have been chatty and nosy.

The trek wasn't too long, only about half a day maybe less, but the hard part was actually finding and opening the bunker door. It had been rusted shut, and there was no way it as going to open without some help.

"Bellamy! Bellamy! I found it, but it's not budging," Clarke called to her co leader, and yanked on the handle with all her might. Bellamy stalked over, and whipped out a hatchet. Clarke moved away from the door, not wanting to get hurt accidentally.

"Stay back," was all he said before he swung the blade down over and over again until he tried opening the hatch again. That time the door opened with little resistance. Clarke grinned. Maybe this time, since the place was obviously abandoned and empty, no one would get hurt.

"What do you think we'll find in here?" Clarke asked Bellamy as they descended into the cold, dark, wet storage bunker. "I have no clue." They searched for a while, coming up with nothing.

"Why can't we find anything of use? A tent? Weapons? A decent fucking med kit!" Bellamy exclaimed, hitting a barrel and it toppled over. His anger was painted on his face, and Clarke understood his frustration. Coming all this way and looking and coming up with nothing was not fun, but at least there were no life threatening things hiding in the bunker. The barrel hit the cracked cement floor with a thud. Out spilled oil, and out spilled guns. Picking one up gingerly, Bellamy looked it over and grinned at Clarke.

"Ready to be a bad ass, Princess?" Bellamy taught Clarke the basics of the gun. The safety, the bullet chamber, how to hold it, things like that. They practiced firing a few rounds at a make shift target, finding out which guns may have duds and which don't and then they had a break for lunch. Snacking on nuts and roots while digging through old mouldy things hadn't been fun, but the discovery of the guns made it all worth it.

Clarke sat down for just a moment to rest her eyes, they were so heavy and her eyelids felt like sand paper, when she was flung into what she thought must have been a dream. There was her dad, standing in front of her, unharmed and alive. It was beautiful, she got to see him and talk to him and share things with him. Clarke felt a smile grace her face. She wasn't sure how, but it felt so resell to be in his presence it was like she could reach out and touch him. His smile was the same kind one, and her father listened to her talk about all that had happened since he had left.

Everything was going well until she had gotten a hard hit to the head. It made her fall on to the floor, and made her loose consciousness for a few seconds. Aside from a painful ache in her head, she had been fine. It had taken her a while to make her way to her feet, though because of her lack of focus. When Clarke had, she stumbled over to the pile of guns and grabbed one. Clarke hoped it isn't full of duds.

Racing outside to see if she could find Bellamy, all she saw was Dax, a member of the 100, standing over Bellamy like he had her. Dax was in a position to shoot a groaning Bellamy, who kept apologizing over and over and over again. It hurt to see Bellamy like this, weak and unaware and unable to defend himself. He was always a protector and Clarke wasn't sure if he knew how to be protected.

"Don't move Dax," Clarke told the boy, "drop it." Dax shifted to face her, not worried about Bellamy being a threat.

"I tried not to hit you hard enough to kill you, Clarke, but you just won't stay down will you?" Dax moved to fire his gun at her, but Clarke brought hers up faster. She fired. Dax looked at her in shock, but he had shaken it off as soon as he realized a bullet hadn't fired and shot at her. Clarke barley managed to get behind a tree before the bullets came at her. She was terrified. Even though she had practiced with guns before this, the repercussion.

"You don't have to do this Dax!" She called to the boy, and he fired another round.

"Yes I do. He promised me my mother and now I'm going to do what I have to do. What ever the hell we want, right?" Dax yelled, but he never got to do anything. Bellamy, using Clarke as a distraction, managed to tackle him to the ground. The teenager's head cracked against the ground, and instantly a pool of blood began to appear.

It was over. Bellamy sat back down, seeming still slightly out of it. Clarke stumbled out of the trees towards Bellamy, kneeling beside him, then had checked him over for injuries. No broken bones, no blood. He was okay, and for that Clarke was grateful.

"I'm fine, Princess," he muttered, but Clarke didn't stop. He then grabbed her hands and gripped them in his own. "Clarke, I'm fine." Clarke nodded and sat down beside him. It wasn't hard to believe that Dax had turned on them, each of the delinquents had their own agenda. Since they were each locked up for a different crime, no one really knew what everyone else wanted aside from freedom.

Clarke and Bellamy moved a little further away from the body, before they had lied down and relaxed. They were lying side by side, and eventually, Clarke rolled so her head was on his chest. Then his arms wrapped around her. They were breathing in synchronization, and Clarke closed her eyes. It felt nice to be close to someone again.

"I suppose we have to go back to camp eventually," Clarke told Bellamy, and opened her eyes to glance up at his face. He smiles.

"Not right now, Princess, just not now."

***

It had been quiet for a few days, unnaturally so. Every single person in camp had been on edge since the bridge, waiting for retaliation for the incident. The guards slacked less, people had refused to leave camp, and Bellamy was almost biting peoples heads off. Well, everyone except Miller and Clarke. Ever since the day trip, they seemed to understand each other better. Bellamy would be a little less reckless and Clarke wouldn't be as stiff with... Almost everything.

Night had come a few hours before, and that was when the next round of horrors started. Murphy came back to camp, and Clarke was sure that there was something wrong with him, aside from the obvious.

"They tortured him," she remembered telling Bellamy. "They ripped off his fingernails." It had made her feel guilty, when she saw Murphy in his pitiful state, since she was the cause of all his pain. She accused him, she then got him tossed out, and then to top it off, Clarke got him tortured by their enemies.

So Clarke let him stay at camp and defended him from Bellamy's rage. It must have been the guilt that over powered her logical thinking, because that could have been one of the more stupid things she's done on earth.

Clarke had started to feel... Off ever since Murphy came back. It had only been a few hours and her stress level had rocketed so she assumed that it had been that. Or she had been, until her eyes had started to bleed. And then shouts came from around camp, alerting the medic that she wasn't the only one. Every sick person and everyone who had an actual say in the camp had then gathered in the drop ship.

"It's biological warfare, Bellamy. You were waiting for retaliation for the bridge, here it is." Bellamy was not impressed, and was even less impressed when Finn had burst in.

"Clarke, I heard you were sick!" He exclaimed, going straight to the girl kneeling by an enemy, but she had held up a hand to stop him. The sickness must spread through contact because the people that were sick were the people who touched Murphy.

"Stay away Finn, we cannot spread the sickness. We need a quarantine," Clarke looked to Bellamy. "Get anyone who touched Murphy in here immediately. They need to be checked and contained." Clarke had most of the people set up, and was about to lie down until Bellamy ran in with Octavia. Of course the youngest Blake didn't have symptoms, but Clarke still needed her in the drop ship. Or, at least for her to seem to be in the drop ship.

It didn't take long for her plan to go wrong. Clarke had let Octavia go to find Lincoln to find a cure, and that back fired when she couldn't lie to Bellamy about her where abouts. And then people had been getting sick outside of containment, and fights were starting. Clarke tried to calm people down, but failed epically. So she decided to try something else.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

"This is what they want!" Clarke shouted, had leaned against the gun she had just shot. Everyone was quiet, and Clarke had finally felt a little in control. "They don't have to kill us if we kill each other."

"Get back in the drop ship! Now!" A kid screamed at her, his gun aimed at her chest. Before he could do anything else, Bellamy had taken him out with a well placed hit to the face.

"Hate to state the obvious, Princess, but your quarantine isn't working," Bellamy stated gently as he looked at her form, her body seemed to shake with the wind. His co leader looked awful. Even though his sister came and talked the people down, Bellamy couldn't stop thinking about Clarke. And then she fell.

Finn was there in an instant, despite Ravens yells. He had Clarke in his arms and he looked at her so tenderly that it made Bellamy want to hit him over and over and over.

*** All Clarke could feel was panic. Finn had just realized what the too perfect tracks meant and had started to yell for her to run. Then Myles was shot.

Two arrows hit him, one in the leg and one in the chest, and Clarke couldn't tell if he was dead or not. Clarke tried to run away, but a large grounder prevented her from doing so. By clubbing her over the head. When the grounders, Finn and Clarke arrived at the den, Anya told them exactly what to do. "Save her. Your bomb nearly killed her and now you must fix the damage."

Next thing she knew, Clarke was trying to save a little girls life so that she could save Finn's. Anya's threat was still fresh in her mind. If she dies, he dies.

The little girl stops breathing right as Clarke had been so close to saving her, and right then her soul was crushed. I fail to save one person, so I have two people that are dead because of me, Clarke thought as the grounders dragged Finn away. Clarke knew that everyone around her died, but now she had started to think it was her fault.

The guard that stayed with her thought she was weak, when he exposed his neck without a thought to her. He thought she was weak and Clarke killed him. Who we are and who we need to be are two very different things.

***

"I love you." That was all she could hear ringing in her head as she closed the drop ship door on the man who told her he loved her. The man she rejected. Not only was Finn still out there, fighting for his life, but there are many of the 100 in battle including Bellamy. It hurt to know that Clarke had to leave many of the people she had befriended over the short period of time on the ground. And when the door finally closed, and the last glimpse of Bellamy and Finn disappeared, the rockets launched and burned them to death.

***

The only thing Clarke thought about the entire time she was in Mount Weather was if they were alive or not. They could have made it to the tunnels. Or to cover. But they were still fighting the grounders the last time she saw them. The thoughts swirled in her head.

The escape was messy. After re slicing her arm open and after she got back into medical, Clarke went snooping around. It hadn't seemed like much harm would come of it, she knew they were hiding something, just not something so big. They were draining people of their blood. Grounders were being hung upside down, and kept in cages. What could they be using it for? Scratch that, she knew. They were replacing their own blood with the grounders. And then Clarke saw Anya, and then she broke her out.

They ran through the tunnels, ran from guards and reapers, and then jumped off a ledge into the water below. It was a long brutal hike, with Anya tying her hands and forcing her to run and hike even when Clarke was about to collapse. With her last burst of energy, Clarke hit Anya over the head with a rock, and took her back to the drop ship. On the outer wall, there was white chalk marks. Coordinates. And now I know someone is alive.

***

Clarke and Anya were just parting ways when the gunfire started. A burning pain started in her arm, but when she saw her only grounder ally fall, it was ten times worse. Peace was never going to happen unless they stopped killing each other off, accidental or not. Anya had agreed to help them get their people out, and then she was killed. Just Clarke's luck. Cutting off one of her braids, Clarke shoved it in her pocket before she was taken by the Ark guards.

Abby was there the moment she found out that someone had been found. As stand in chancellor, she had a duty to protect everyone in the camp and that person could give them vital information. The person they found was brown with dirt, red covered their face and clothes so they were nearly unrecognizable. Nearly. As Abby looked at the girl, she saw her daughter.

"Oh my god."

Clarke awoke in a large grey area. It must have been the medical bay because it smelled strongly of disinfectant. Clarke felt cleaner, and less heavy. Looking down, she was wearing new clothes and her skin wasn't caked in mud and blood. Foot steps alerted her she wasn't alone. Abby sat in the chair next to Clarke, and smiled at her daughter.

"I'm not going to ask you if you're okay, but I will ask you how do you feel?" The doctor said, running a hand over her daughters hair.

"Like I've been shot." Clarke mumbled, still feeling drowsy. She must have been asleep for a long while, and now she needed to start asking questions.

"Is anyone else here? How did you guys get down here? Is everyone okay?" Clarke interrogated, spitting the questions out as fast as possible. But before Abby could answer, there was yelling.

"There's movement in the woods, and it isn't grounders!"

Clarke was on her feet and limped to to the door. Raven was right outside. "I've been out here all night. Abby said you needed your sleep." Clarke nodded, and hugged the mechanic. The yelling started again as the gate opened, and Clarke saw a few familiar faces.

"Go on, I'll catch up." Clarke was off, running like the wind. She saw Bellamy first and launched at him. He wasn't dead. Bellamy Blake was not burned to a crisp. Bellamy started to hug her back after a few moments, and Octavia laughed.

"Now there's something I never thought I'd see."

"Hey Princess," Bellamy mumbled into Clarke's shoulder as he held her tightly against him. He thought that he would never see his partner again, that the grounders had taken her and their friends and Murphy and Finn wouldn't be successful-

"Finn. He's still out there looking for you."

***

Clarke found Finn in the village that Lincoln came from, standing over 18 dead grounders.

"I found you," he cried, staring at her with wide eyes.

You just lost me, Clarke thought.

***

Clarke can't even look at him on their way back, only speaking to him when necessary. I found you, he had said, like she was some prize to be won. He had killed so many innocents without a thought. It was excruciating to know what he had done, that he had changed from a peaceful, kind hearted person who hadn't even want to hurt the person that nearly killed him to a man that killed on a hunch.

Clarke, Raven, Abby, Finn, Bellamy and Ark guards had been out on a scouting trip when Finn couldn't handle the looks anymore. Everyone saw him as a threat, as a ticking time bomb with no timer. You could only guess when he was about to go off.

"Clarke, you need to go talk to him," Raven told the blonde after Finn ran off. Clarke sighed, but nodded and went after him, following him into the woods. Cracker didn't want to do this, to face him, but she knew it had to be done.

"I know what you're going to say. That it's all my fault. It's just, I did it for you, Clarke, I love you so much and when I thought that they had done something to you... I just snapped," Finn rambled, trying to explain himself.

"You're right. It is your fault. You need to find a way to live with it though. I made peace with Dax, and my guard, and the hundreds of Grounders that burned to death because of a command I gave. You need to find a way to do it too."

***

The next time the two of them talk, Finn was about to be executed. "I'm sorry Clarke. I love you."

" I love you too," Clarke responded, kissing him deeply before pushing the knife that Raven had given her straight into his heart. The last words she heard him say would haunt her forever.

"Thanks Princess."

Clarke could hear Raven as she screamed when she walked away, and Clarke could tell the grounders were not satisfied. She knew that the commander would see it her way. That she got her punishment and now it would be with her until the end of her days.

***

Nothing could help the feeling of breaking on the inside. It had been a couple of hours since Finns death and it killed her on the inside. The way his skin just gave way to to knife and all of the blood, so much blood. Her mother tried to talk to her, to calm her down, but she just kept crying.

Next Octavia tried, telling Clarke that she did the right thing because she saved Finn from torture. The thought of the man she killed being tortured hadn't helped her sobbing much either.

Then, finally, Bellamy came in. He didn't bother trying to talk to her, he just sat beside her and hugged her into his chest. He let her cry until she had no more tears left to shed and then turned to face her. "No matter how bad it feels right now, know that you did all that you could have. If you had gone through with Ravens plan, we would all be dead right now." Bellamy stayed with her until Lexa wanted to talk, and then let her go.

He knew she would need space, but he hadn't anticipated the change that would happen to the woman he loved after leaving her to contemplate the words of a heartless commander alone.

***

Clarke kissed Bellamy right before he went into Mount Weather, and it made her feel better knowing that Bellamy went knowing how she felt about him. She was so happy that he would come back and they would start fresh with the help of the grounders. It helped her through the dark thoughts of Finn, and dealing with Raven.

But he didn't come back.

The mountain men had caught him and tried to pry information out of him, using the most painful ways possible. And after the torture, they used him as a bone marrow bank like the rest of the 47. Being stuck made him feel useless. Of course he couldn't get anything right. He couldn't save his people and he couldn't save himself.

One of the delinquents managed to get out of their cage and turned off the defences, allowing the grounders and the Ark to come in and take down their enemies by just opening the door. Clarke was one of the first people inside, bee lining straight for where she knew the mountain men held captives.

There, in one of the tiny cramped prison cells, was Bellamy Blake. He was bloody, tired, and likely would have nightmares for the rest of his life, but he was alive.

The Ark people went back to camp whole that day, with everyone there with them, but as soon as life started to go back to normal, well as normal as possible, Clarke noticed the changes. Bellamy wouldn't sleep unless he was about to pass out from fatigue, but even then he had night terrors. He would flinch at Clarke's touch and the sound of her voice, and no matter how hard she tried to hide how much it hurt, it really did. She had now lost two loved ones fighting the enemy.

"Do you just need time?" Clarke asked Bellamy one day, and he smiled weakly at her. He didn't want to hurt her, so Bellamy knew what he had to do. "Just until I get my head screwed on straight," he told her, giving her a hug and a kiss on the forehead before walking away from her. What Clarke didn't know was that he wouldn't be coming back for a very long time.

***

The months passed and Clarke couldn't handle being in the Ark camp any longer. The adults there didn't accept her leadership and opinions, and it drove her crazy. So, Clarke decided to leave. She spread the word around the 47 that she would take anyone who wanted to come with her and suddenly, on the day of the departure, there was 150 people waiting for her to take the lead. Bellamy and Raven and Jasper and Monty along with many other original survivors were in that group.

Clarke lead them back to the drop ship, where, after the harsh weather and rain and winds had swept through, there were very few human remains left behind. They set up camp like before, but this time they slowly started to build buildings with the help of the grounders, and catch wild animals to breed for food instead of hunting all the time. There was the first pregnancy on of their people on earth, and people developed a trade system to get the materials they needed. Things were going well for everyone but Clarke and Bellamy.

Clarke had all the pressure of the camp on her shoulders, and was only able to lead alone. Clarke let herself be wrapped up by the responsibility and started to ignore everything else. She didn't have time for anything that wasn't the safety of her people. She promise Bellamy time to recover, and so she tried to give it to him.

He didn't recover. Bellamy stayed quiet most of the time, never being bossy and flinched at loud noises. He would never even go near Clarke, and would stay in his tents for days at a time. He lost weight from not eating, and there were massive dark circles under his eye from not sleeping. Bellamy Blake was a mess, but he would never admit it to anybody. Well, except for maybe Octavia.

It took Clarke two months at the new camp for her to do something. Finally, one day she just got so mad that she couldn't not deal with her greatest point of stress. She couldn't lead alone anymore, she couldn't deal with everything by herself, and she couldn't handle seeing Bellamy destroy himself any longer. The nudge over the edge was a comment from Octavia, when Clarke asked about Bellamy.

"He picks fights just to get hurt. He will not eat or sleep for days and one day I'm worried he won't come out of his tent at all."

That sent Clarke straight over to Bellamy's tent and she threw back the flap. Bellamy was laying in his bed, staring at the wall across from his bed, and he didn't bother to acknowledge her presence. "Bellamy fucking Blake, you are the biggest bastard I have ever met." He rolled so he could look at Clarke after that statement. "I promised to give you time to yourself so you could get better, not get yourself killed. I tired so hard to give you what you needed, what you wanted, but no, you just abuse my trust. You haven't been eating, or sleeping, or getting out of bed. Are you going to keep this up until it kills you?"

Bellamy blinked at her before sighing deeply. "I'm just fine Princess, go back to ruling your little kingdom and stop worrying about the lowly peasants."

"Kingdom? Are you kidding me? This place is hell without you. I have to organize the hunting and the medical, and the food, and the bathing and the tents and the clothes and everything! I haven't had time to even think! You asked for time, so I gave it to you and now you need to suck it up because if not, I will come in here everyday and drag you outside and make you do something! Anything!"

"I don't want to do anything that has to do with you!" Bellamy roared as he flew out of bed, and that shocked Clarke into silence. "Every single time I close my eyes, I see you, but it isn't the really you. It's the you that they created. Every single day you would die in horrible ways and come back to haunt me in my dreams, screaming about how I couldn't save you. I don't want to see you!" Bellamy closed his eyes, trying to calm his breathing.

Clarke stood still, processing everything and all of a sudden it all made sense, the flinching and shying away, everything. Clark couldn't let this go on. She couldn't let Bellamy destroy himself any longer, torture himself over things that had happened, and the things that just happened in his mind. Walking up in front of him, Clarke puts her hands delicately on his face.

"I will never leave you," she said, pulling his face down to meet hers. The two hold that position for a few seconds before moving a little further, deepening the kiss.

Then all of a sudden they are in a frenzy, kissing each other with a passion that they had never felt before. Clark's back hit the soft material of the mattress as Bellamy lifted his head from her neck.

"I love you, you know."

"I love you too."


End file.
